Waterborne Math Whizzes Gifts

An abacus swimming pool

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Lemniskate

Think Tank

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

'How can two plus three equal five? Yesterday you said one plus four equal five.'

"I didn't have enough fingers. I had to use a couple of toes."

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

"There's the evidence of our mouse problem!"

Scuba texting

Octopus tricks man into the sea.

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

Hydrofoil wing boat.

'If you think God moves in mysterious ways, you should see long division.'

M- Mouse, L- LCD.

Thank you

Abandon claculators all ye who enter here.

Calculator Jokes

When I start my own Internet company I'll hire people to solve problems like that.

"I tend to agree with you especially since '6.10-9 tc' is my lucky number."

'What do you mean you're not reaching into the livewell?'

"Do you want the correct answer, or do you want the feel-good-politically-correct answer?"

'Every time I catch something in tendrils, it tickles!'

'No wonder I'm failing math. I'm just no good with numbers. Even when I dialed the math homework helpline, I got the wrong number.'

"The 'Death Roll'! That sounds so cool! Do you think your daddy could teach it to me?"

"...and in terms of capacity, how many Olympic pools would it take to fill this Olympic pool?"

'I've applied Chrysler's stat approach, Crossman's function units and the Albrecht method and I still can't balance the checkbook.'

"They won't say what they're doing way out here Skipper, but they're adamant they're not refugees!"