Water Therapist Pillows

"The secret of my good health? Well, my life is pretty much one long thalassotherapy session!"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Licensed Therapist

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

Couples' therapy

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

In case of emergency, break glass.

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'