Water Services Manager Gifts

Ofwat Sewage Scrutiny

Pipe Dream.

A Hole in the Dike

Water company bonus.

"It's trickle down."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Water shortage and waste due to leaks

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"Well, the drought is over."

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Dutch Boy With Finger In Dyke

"I hope you don't mind waiting, all the staff are on a 'customer care' course."

'Of course I care, madam!'

'There will be no editorial from our Station Manager tonight, because he's still in jail from his last editorial.'

'So we meet again...'

Septic Fields Forever.

The Source of the Thames...

'Well actually, I'm a plumber!'

"Hey, who died and gave you the right to determine my water rights?"

Water Feature 2006.

'...And that's tonight's news. Now, here's our Station Manager with another one of his outrageously wrongheaded editorials....'

'Okay, we've got 1 CEO, 4 assistant directors, 7 department managers, 3 IT-managers, 2 marketing directors, 3 personnel managers and 2 service managers. Now we just have to find out what we want to produce.'

"The next downtown local train has entered a rift in the space-time continuum, and will arrive in 3027."

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

Sewage Farm, "Bloody Hell, Crap Circles."

'The good news is, we've got 100 percent less complaints. The bad news is, we've lost all our customers.'

"What a beautiful day."

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

'... Service your gas fire?... Certainly, I can not bother turning up this Tuesday morning, if that's convenient.'

"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."

'As station manager, I'd like to apologize to any morons our t.v. editorial may have offended.'