Water Leak Worrier Pillows

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Lazy plumber.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

'What really rankles is they still haven't lifted the hosepipe ban.'

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

"I'm convinced ... we have PCB's, DDT's and mercury our streams!"

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

Two water wells with buckets one marked 'Hot' and 'Cold'

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

In the future, wars will be fought over water

'There! That should make sure they don't do it again.'

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"What's the temperature of the water?"

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Jeff tests the smoke alarms.

"It won't catch fish."