Water Leak Worrier Pillows

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Lazy plumber.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'What really rankles is they still haven't lifted the hosepipe ban.'

"I'm convinced ... we have PCB's, DDT's and mercury our streams!"

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

Two water wells with buckets one marked 'Hot' and 'Cold'

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

What do you mean "try jiggling the handle"?!

In the future, wars will be fought over water

'There! That should make sure they don't do it again.'

"What's the temperature of the water?"

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Jeff tests the smoke alarms.

"It won't catch fish."

Here's a list of side effects for the drug, and here's a list of side effects for the water.