New Home With Water Issues Pillows

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

LAY ZEE FUK

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Gardener

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Allotment

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"And this is our media room."

Beach Barbecue

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Rose Garden

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."