Watching Live Performances Pillows

Elton John Glastonbury

Zombie standup

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Comedy Cafe

"This next one's another oldie."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Theatre Crowd

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Applause

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

"Tong!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Eric Clapton.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Free Bird!"

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Plum jam...

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Ginger Baker.

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Cello Concert

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

'I'd like now to do a blues number, for those of you here on Viagra. It's called - Woke up Early One Morning.'