Live Performance Lover Pillows

"I love the ephemeral nature of live theatre. Once a performance is over, you can never see it again."

Freddie Mercury

"Tong!"

"We heard you were dying in here."

'Why would I pay you when I can watch you for free on YouTube?'

The Baby in the Theatre

Boring Theatre

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Creepy.'

"Some agent you turned out to be."

'This one's for the cheap b*****d who just tipped me a quarter.'

"They're texting it in."

"I've been here three days and only just discovered I'm at the wrong convention."

Pianist teleconferencing with a singer.

Zombie standup

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"This next one's another oldie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Senta jumps into the sea

Theatre Crowd

Mikado

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

"Free Bird!"

Eric Clapton.

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Juggler and Illusionist

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Plum jam...

Ginger Baker.

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'