Warrior Stories Fan Gifts

Samurai Katsuke wasn't much of a great sword fighter, but he was one of the greatest optimists in old Japan.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

'Does my bum look big in this?'

A street fight.

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

'You're too aggressive.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

'You're too aggressive.'

'Breaker Morant would have been proved innocent if he hadn't shot the people needed for his defence.'

'Razed any good cities lately?'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

'You know I felt pretty confident until I saw that sign... I mean, didn't we really get whupped in that fight?'

The new 'LONE' Ranger. . .

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

Condoleezza Rice

"Shoo!"

The 24/7 Samurai

'Now that's what I CALL a free-range chicken'

"It must be yours. I have no imagination."

"Is he still there?"

"I've come for your teeth."

Genghis Khan

Outbreak of Boer War

"To be honest, I'm just looking for positive role models in my life. After all, he's Genghis Khan, not Genghis Can't."

"I feel like every time I turn into a swan there's this expectation of sex."

"They called him ‘weird’, they called him ‘creepy’, but now they’d call him Sheriff."

Pandora's Box Store. Reopening soon!!

Ancient Greek Downsizing

'The large crate contains my medals.'

"Look sharp, Son. Your Mother's family just showed up."

"Would you say this is a must-win?"

"Warrior queen or not, she shouldn't be driving that thing on a school run."