Warranty Appreciator Pillows

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

'What if I promise not to look?'

Late-Onset Epiphany

You've Got Mail

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

Old Tortoise

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

"I've finally got my head together."

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

'FQ...?'

Perpetual Motion.

"My favorite is also 'let sleeping dogs lie'."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

A toaster plays fetch

"I'm telling you my computer is making an obscene gesture!"

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

"...and this is my better half...!"

"Life was a LOT easier before AI and the 'Internet of things'!"

'It's for Pookie.'

'He helps keep me focused on what matters most.'