Ward Pillows

'I told you I knew what nine sevens is...'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Benedict Cumberbatch

Director/Action Man toy.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

vaccine wars.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."