War Battles Pillows

'Bugler! Sound the charge!' 'Can you hum the first few bars, please?'

Dec 25, 1776: Washington Crosses the Delaware, Defeats the Hessians, and Starts the War on Christmas.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

Epic Battles

Harry S. Truman

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Most valuable element.

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

"Now there's a weapon of mass destruction."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Tractors, Sir - thousands of 'em!"

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

War and Peace GIF

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

John McCain, pre-RIP

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"One of you go see who's at the door."

'The Luftwaffe is unable to bomb London, mein Fuhrer. The east coast of England is littered with wind turbines!'

Defence Cuts: 'This is getting serious Sergeant, bring up the re-enforcements!'

"By George, that should do it - as long as we don[t bomb our own men again "

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other lik

Don't Worry, Joe, about Afghanistan

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'