Wannabe Wheelman Pillows

New harder driving tests - Instructor saying 'Find a parking space'.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

Bear watching a man trying to fish bear style.

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

"So a plumber charges $600 for 45 minutes' work?! Is that the coolest job or what?!"

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

A young boy shaving

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .

"I've got a part in a soap."

"I can try all I want, but there's no way I look smooth on this bike!"

'Sure he's got a smart phone, but he doesn't know how to use it. He's a geek poser.'

"I can grant you three fishes."

"Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy, but what I want is power of attorney!"

"Face it, Earl, ee're dogfoodboys."