Wall Street Worshiper Pillows

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

Drive-thru Church

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

'Twenty-seven years in a row the women investors in this club have outperformed the men--talk about lucky streaks.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

...Shares can go up as well as down.

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

'I like it. It's bigger than life.'

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

If only we could sell shares in doom and gloom.

A stripe of stockbrokers

The Bullish World

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'You know, they call me 'Stinkin' rich' because I even have an employee who takes a shower for me every morning!'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

'I seem to have lost my reason for buying stocks.'

What goes up...

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"Yes, They're all fine thanks, Max - how's your portfolio?"

Help! Bought IPOs with IOUs.

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'