Money Worshipper Pillows

Public Welcome! Join our Morning Prayer Service, Worshipping the Almighty Dollar.

'I'm writing everything off for religious reasons since I worship the dollar.'

'Corinth takes his first amendment religious rights seriously. He's a money worshipper.'

Church for sports worshipers.

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Drive-thru Church

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'I like it. It's bigger than life.'

'You know, they call me 'Stinkin' rich' because I even have an employee who takes a shower for me every morning!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Restaurant scene; diners are shown kneeling in reverence at their tables.

'Money DOES make me happy.'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Worshiping the TV.

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

Church Parking

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

'I know you haven't seen me.. your last sermon was so good, it lasted me an entire year!'

'They're very advanced. They pray to a god called 'Dow Jones.''

Sermon about 20 minutes

Sunday sermon: 'Dearly beloved, restore our faith in the almighty dollar.'

"Fantastic service, lousy food."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'