Wall Street Maven T-Shirts

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"Buy insulation...sell futures."

Muscles

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

Upper West Side Story

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

The End is Nigh

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Tesla Shares Tanking Into Swastika

Home Sweet Sign

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Boarway Show

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

'Feeeeeeeeed me, Seymooooooooor.'

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

'Music hath charms,' &c.

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'The financial services economy has shrunk again.'

Body Building Mishap

Bottle of pills labelled 'Global Recovery Capsules,' with 'Warning: May cause inflation, deflation, nausea, panic attacks. Use caution when mixing with optimism, stocks, bonds.'