Waiting For Medical Results Pillows

I'm waiting for test results. I might be sick with. What? I can't get the word out. This doesn't sound good.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Late BroomStick

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Waiting for Pants

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Examiners.

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

The interminable!

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

"I was told you didn't want a pacemaker fitted."

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

"By the time we go in, I'll be too old for a pediatrician."

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

I stood in line for an hour only to find out there's a height requirement. You must be this tall. Waits and measures!

"My Alzheimers doctor. What can I do?"

'Waiting for...'

'Oh my god... oh my god...'

"You can rest assured, Mrs. Wilson, that your husband will receive the best care known to medical coverage."

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

An accident waiting to happen.

Why do medical test results always come back on a Monday so we have to wait through the whole weekend to get our life-and-death results? You've signed a mouthful.

"You took your time!"