Awaiting Surgery Pillows

"Due to cuts in the procurement budget we'll have to delay your operation until we get a hit online for your new hip!"

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Late BroomStick

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Waiting for Pants

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'Just another couple of pages.'

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

The interminable!

Anatomy.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

He really puts his heart into it!

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."