Wagering Pillows

Taking back America- one wager at a time: Tribal casino and hotel...welcome!

The spots have fallen off a man's dice.

Men betting on whether a gambling commission will work.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'The going's a little soft today, isn't it?'

I can sum up the performance of my horse in one word...Last!

'Okay, listen... if the world ends on December 21st, I'll pay you €100. If not, you'll pay me €100, deal?'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

A day at the races

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Stag poker"

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies