Vow Humorist Pillows

Bridegroom asks if he can ask the audience.

'...Love, honor, and obey, no questions asked?'

"... and do you promise to never serve wine from a box so long as you both shall live?"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"...until death do you a favor."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Magic Act

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Gunswinger

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

End of world nigh!!!

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

A Women Falls Into A Brook.

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."