Comic Humorist Pillows

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Football Chameleon

"Did you get my tweet?"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Barbeque Casualty.

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

Fishing from the Pier

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"She looks just like in your photos."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."