Voucher Redeemer Pillows

'It's the little things that add up - checking receipts, redeeming vouchers, the diamond mine at the bottom of the garden.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"I'm taking me voucher and going to circus school."

Must... Remember...

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

"Now that's what I call an offer you can't refuse!"

Jesus Feeds the 5K

"Thank you for your participation in our loyalty rewards program!"

"Actually, can I have it in Tesco vouchers?"

"Yeah, doc, I'm under a lot of pressure! All these gift cards I've been carrying around forever expire today!"

Surge pricing at the burger place.

'Sorry I was getting so many point vouchers I forgot the shopping.'

'That's our founder and his parole officer.'

'Don't forget to post that parcel!'

"It's horrible to be at the end of my life with all these regrets! Here I am, a stranger to my family because my career was more important than my family..."

Zoom Christmas party

"We come bearing gfit vouchers."

A visor is very helpful when trying to follow the flight of your ball.

Customer Service: 'I'd like to exchange this gift certificate for a larger size.'

Santa bailout.

'We may have to lower our standards.'

D.I.Y. halo