Voodoo Aficionado T-Shirts

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

Oh, ouch.

Talk about painful! I'm making some poor guy watch the news 24/7.

Witch doctor rear view mirror ornaments.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Vlad the Inhaler

"...until death do you a favor."

Astral Projection

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

Vampire Bat

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Love Hurts

Happy Valentine's Day

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

Witch Doctor

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

Vampire with a violin

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Two vampire businessmen on their way to work. One yawns and says: 'I've got to sort out my work-death balance.'

'At least, you could have left a tip.'