Voodoo Aficionado Pillows

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

Witch doctor rear view mirror ornaments.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Vlad the Inhaler

"...until death do you a favor."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

Vampire Bat

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Love Hurts

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

Vampire with a violin

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

Two vampire businessmen on their way to work. One yawns and says: 'I've got to sort out my work-death balance.'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

"Listen, I'm not going to keep letting you in and out all day."

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

"You've been grinding your fangs."