Volunteer Appreciation Day Gifts

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Staff support"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'C'mon get it straight.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

The best PE teacher in the World.

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.