Volunteer Appreciation Day Pillows

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Staff support"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

The best PE teacher in the World.

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'