Hospital Staff Appreciation Day Pillows

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'