Hospital Staff Appreciator Pillows

'When will he be fit enough for some light cheque signing?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Long shift?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

"Turn your head and cough."