Hospital Staff Appreciator T-Shirts

'When will he be fit enough for some light cheque signing?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Long shift?'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'I think it has reached critical mass.'