Medical Appreciation Day Pillows

'Sorry about the wait. I was doing some medical type stuff to another patient.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"And there's a surcharge if you insist on annoying the doctor with any self-diagnosis you found on google."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

Medical personnel give their hearts

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'