Employee Appreciation Day Pillows

'Hang on while I find a pencil.'

'Sorry, I can't take your order right now...I'm on my coffee break.'

"I don't know why these people are complaining, we give them stimulating,challenging work...and we let them do it for 80 hours a week."

"Make photocopies of this memo, informing staff to reduce the use of paper and distribute it to all of our staff."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Worked all weekend to finish the report, and all I get is a stupid Pat on the back."

'I'd like to see you in my office Johnston, to discuss your task delegation skills.'

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

'Norman, mentoring is not about making everybody else the same as you.'

'To you, it's doing my work for me. To me... it's teamwork.'

Unflexible boss.

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

Time is HONEY

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

Pat on the back machine

'I'll get to your project as soon as I'm caught up.'

Suggestion Box for the Wather.

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"So pleased are we with your work, Brown, that we're moving you up to a three drawer cabinet."

"Your idea saved the company two million pounds, Harris - thank you."

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

"The money's not all that flash here, but you do get recognition for good work."

"I go that extra mile!"

'I just want it on record that I'm delivering this for somebody else.'

'My apologies, Henson, if I was too harsh with you.'

'Then I said, ‘This is crazy. You can't force me to work overtime.''

'I want to thank all employees, except my personal assistant, who has a thankless job.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Employee of the Month

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

"I see you as a little bee, Kutner. Buzz, buzz, buzz, go make some honey."