Voicemail Lover Gifts

"I hate calling her—she always picks up."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

Wedding Texting

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

"I'm sick of you going off on me all the time!"

"How do we improve our image with customers?"

"We're quietly happy."

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

You only do text. I do text AND voicemail.

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'

'Click! I'm out right now.'

'He ain't texting, Boss...'

'No, I can talk.'

'Oh - you're there! I was hoping I could just leave a message.'

"This is the voicemail of Michel Barnier.For angry drunk ranting, press 1. For separate, weepy pleading, press 2. To just sorta breathe heavily into the phone for an extended period, press 3."

I've fallen in love with your voice, but unfortunately, things can probably never work out between us. I'm a cartoon, and you're recording.

"Hello, this is a recording ... That is, it isn't a recording while I'm making it, of course, but it will be, or rather is, a recording when you hear it ... or, in other words ..."

"Thank you for calling your father. If this is an emergency, press 1. If you need money, press 2. To speak about your general life updates, please stay on the line: your mother will be with you shortly."

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

"No, you're not disturbing me, Herb. I'm up with the chickens this morning."

"Ladies and gentlemen, please charge your phones and be uploading..."

"Yeah, I'm still on hold"

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

If you think that's weird, you should see what's outside the window.

"Besides digital assistant, what other voice work have you done?"

Lovely to catch up!