Visual Data Lover Gifts

"Hey, Venn - back off! I'm a pie chart."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Big Data Tonight

"I love your optimism."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Aggression/Security

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"