Data Visualization Lover Gifts

"For you new prisoners here, the warden will only let us use bar graphs on all of our prison data projects."

Executive walks past charts showing performance of different kinds of pasta.

Cohesion Of Cohort/Shared Behaviors

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I love your optimism."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

Aggression/Security

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'