Visionary Skeptics Gifts

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"I don't like space."

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"Dad, can you read?"

Rare Book Store: Telephone Directories

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

"I miss expense accounts."

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

'…dial tone…dial tone…dial tone…'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

'If it's any consolation, Mr. Nostro couldn't have known what hit him.'

Guy in Opthamology Store Room getting Evil Eyeballs.

Wine-O-vision

"I wonder if we could allow women a greater role in religion other than as sacrifices?"

'I can't see myself as a visionary.'

"Sorry, I really don't believe in it...I'm a Scorpio and you know that we're naturally sceptical..."

"Yesterday, militant atheists killed moderate atheists for not being atheist enough."

"That time facebook went down for a few hours isn't that big a deal. Little buddy!"

'If you look carefully you'll see that all the claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June when Venus is in alignment with Mars.'

'Bob was horrified when he realised that he'd mixed up the perscriptions'

'And you're sure this mobile won't affect young Damolles?'

"Just phone Mr.Fry and tell him the claim's been rejectedbecause the damage was deemed an 'Act of God'."