Visionary Joker Pillows

'You seem to have a Lazy right eye.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Fittd shēt

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

Prisoner still life painting.

"See how it feels"

Complaints Desk

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Eucharist

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

The Cartoonists

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

"And, after they see you do this, the 'promised land' can be whatever you say it is."