Visa Humorist Pillows

You've only got a three month visa, but I suspect you intend to stay six months!

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'One carry-on!'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"It's obviously an original."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'Are we broke yet?'

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

'Wake up, Jim. It's time for your break.'

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

'You're messing with my head.'

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

Thinking about TV.

Baggage Reclaim

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

"My conceptual artwork - documented in these photographs - consists of my going on a bus to cleveland, buying a blue hat, putting three feathers on it, and throwing it off a bridge in Michigan."

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

Dad helping to build sand castle while tent remains un-erected.

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'