Virtue Signaler T-Shirts

"Well, if it's just one wish, I wish to be recognized for my moral high ground."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

Musical Pipe

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

A signaller directing pallbearers

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'I think I've got it.'

"We've come here to smoke."

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

Applying skills in teaching special needs students to dealing with colleagues.

"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."

"Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with either two squares forward and one to the side, or two squares to the side and one forward."

'Do you have any oranges?'

"I assume that's a 'not guilty' plea?"

Well, I don't care if the cuffs are hurting your wrists, sailor boy! I want to know what this green leafy substance is right now!... And maybe we should check that pipe of yours too, huh?

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'

Latter-day saints

"That's affirmative. It smells delicious. Over."

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

'Don't pay the doctor...'

'I'll be back later, Marge. I'm going out to build some humility.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'Let's start by determining the type of person you are. Are you upfront, or do you give off subtle signals?'

'Another bullseye! What do you think of black poweder guns now, Ben?'

Cigarette Ash has made evil face.

"Yeah yeah, 'monkey see, monkey do', but your mum is right: do as I say, not as I do!"

'Harlow, perhaps you should go back to SMOKING!'