Virtue Validator T-Shirts

"I assume that's a 'not guilty' plea?"

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

Applying skills in teaching special needs students to dealing with colleagues.

"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."

'Do you have any oranges?'

Sloth is a sin, Brother Ernest. Ah, yes, but patience is a virtue.

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

Latter-day saints

'I'll be back later, Marge. I'm going out to build some humility.'

"But mom, how do I know I'm having a great time if I don't get some jealous comments on Facebook?"

"Before announcing our verdict, we'd like to test it on a focus group."

"So if you go on vacation and no one knows about it, did you really go on vacation?"

"Sometimes I find myself going to a notary public just for the acknowledgement."

"Proud parent of an honor student? Eh, whatever. Parent of an honorable student? Now that would be impressive."

"I loved my job. That's gotta count for something."

'Book of Virtues'...'Book of Vices'

The Three Graces

"Hold on. Let me just check my self-worth."

Teacher to students: 'All the stuff that teaches perseverance is right here in this classroom ... that would be you.'

"Look at her and her bloody virtue signalling!"

"Well, I'd say I'm naturally curious, rather bookish and exceptionally smart. I'm good at being honest, too."

'Hope, charity, faith, patientce...to thine own self be true.' (to angel) 'Leave this man alone. You're driving him mad.'

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'

The Virtue of Humility

"I received your text message about the importance of tolerance and forgiveness. Now what did you do?"

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'