Virtue Seeker Gifts

"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT'

"Sooooooo.........Brian, you think you're good enough for the Humility Club."

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

'Hope, charity, faith, patientce...to thine own self be true.' (to angel) 'Leave this man alone. You're driving him mad.'

'Well, yes, you didn't drink and you didn't smoke, but you didn't see that truck coming either.'

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'

"I want to show my Missus what happens to guys like you."

"I loved my job. That's gotta count for something."

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Feel free to take notes."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Needs to get a life"