Virtue And Vice Ponderer Gifts

'Book of Virtues'...'Book of Vices'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Chiller Theatre

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

The Price of Freedom

"Is this who I am?"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"I cross the road to forget."

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Non Thought For The Day.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."