Virtual Party Pioneer Pillows

"I told you a virtual swinger's party would be a logisitcal nightmare."

Tartine

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

That party went well.

Shaken not stirred

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'You're texting? Wait--'

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Disco Owls

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Covid pinata

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

Budget Munchies

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"Christmas parties aren't nearly as much fun since we started teleworking. . ."

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

House Plant Party

Teleworking was the death of the office party

"Do you think you could give me a hand? The guests will be here any minute."

'Sir, the Christmas party is well prepared. We've got champagne, wine, beer, food and five canister of carpet cleaner.'

"It's not as bad as it looks. . .they're making you a birthday cake."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."