Virtual Meeting Jester Gifts

"Sorry, I thought this was a Skype meeting."

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Office Meeting

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

Dog Park Zoom

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'Any questions?'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

Negative Interest Meeting

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

"Camera not working."

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

Zoomies call.

"Dressing like that for an online job hunt won't give you any more luck."

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"