Virtual Meeting Jester Gifts

"Sorry, I thought this was a Skype meeting."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

Office Meeting

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

Dog Park Zoom

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'Any questions?'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

Negative Interest Meeting

"Camera not working."

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

"Okay, well, welcome everyone, to our first annual shareholders' webcast."

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

Zoomies call.

"Dressing like that for an online job hunt won't give you any more luck."

With a webcam I can attend meetings while sitting behind my desk here at home. This situation leads to some disjointed clothing ensembles.