Vintage Port Collector Gifts

'You said bring something blue-veined to go with vintage port.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

International Women's Day

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Diner.

Wine Lady

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Early Colour TV

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

The original paperless office

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Pre-Television Man Caves

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Roasted

JET (Part I)

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'Early Laptops.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Floppy Disc and Mopsy.'

"So much for that vintage!"

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"