Vintage Book Collectors Gifts

Frontispiece for Juvenal

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Rare Books

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Early Colour TV

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

The original paperless office

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Sock Puppet in Literature

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"