Vintage Book Collecting Gifts

'And this book comes in shiny coffee-table-crisp or library-ready-pre-read and musty.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Diner.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Rare Books

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Cats on Board.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Sock Puppet in Literature

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)