Viniculturist T-Shirts

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

'Yeah, dear, I got the stomping job at the vineyard--you didn't mention they make cactus wine!'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'In Love'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I make it myself!"

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Red Wine

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'