Vingterism Gifts

The Vineyard

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

See you at the farmers market!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Before/After

"Two vegans, please."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

Queen of Quinoa

Vegetarian Birds

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Is there a vegan option?"

Give quiche a chance!

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'Is this still America?'