Vingterism Gifts

The Vineyard

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"States of tofu"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Queen of Quinoa

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

Before/After

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Two vegans, please."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Vegetarian Birds

See you at the farmers market!

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Give quiche a chance!

"Is there a vegan option?"

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'Is this still America?'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'