Vineyard Manager T-Shirts

Grape vines think alike.

"That's not our logo. That's the company's flowchart."

'With all the time you spend in the red, maybe you should change the name of this place to Chapter 11 Vineyards.'

'Funny, when he was a movie director and yelled, 'cut', he wanted everyone to stop.'

'Four years, for a wine degree, from UC Davis...for this.'

'Thank you for phoning our vineyard. . .'

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Vineyard Portrait

The Vineyard

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'In Love'

"I make it myself!"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'Who's the new guy?'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wine tasting

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

Nouveau wine

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'