Village Fair Goer Gifts

Abstract expressionist face painting.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Country Bumpkin.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'I'm sorry, your cheese has not matured enough!'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

Cottage cupcakes.

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

"Iowa is super diverse. We have hot dogs, corn dogs, cheese dogs, chili cheese dogs..."

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

'Medium well, please.'

There's nothing like a bit of bunting to draw you in!

We're fine, although I think Bob may be going through a middle-ages crisis.

'I knew she was a kicker.'

Will spell your name

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

"You'll love it. This year, we created an amazing maize maze."

State Fair

'I have a lot of issues with chafing.'

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

Medieval Page

"I don't care about winning. I care about being the best cow I can be."

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

Minature Village - 'It's amazingly lifelike - nobody lives there.'

'What am I bid for this 1,000 pound llama?' The llama thinks; 'Great. Now EVERYONE knows I'm overweight.'

"No fair!"

The Big Ham.

'Old Gilbert always likes to ham it up a bit.'

'You have a very long lifeline.'

'Wow, that's one prize-winning pig!'