Village Fair Fan Gifts

Girl selling kisses at village fete is arrested by a vice squad officer.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Country Bumpkin.

Fist Bumper Cars

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Abstract expressionist face painting.

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Face Painting.

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

Knight Supplies

Gardener of the Year.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Garrick as Richard 3rd.

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"Roller coaster, 30 minutes. . . Ferris wheel, 15 minutes. . . Haunted House, 45 minutes. . ."

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

You must be this tall and this far apart to ride

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

Adaptability.

'I knew she was a kicker.'

"It is progress, but I miss the thrill of the hunt!"

Chicken Costume

COWS: Cows weekly shop

Model Village - snort! snort! sniff!